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I have been your son for 28 years. For the first time in my life, I am admitting that in the last 10, I haven’t always been present. Although I have been a part of your life, behind the smiles and the small talk, I’ve been dealing with a problem that is tearing me apart.
At first, I thought I could handle it. I mean, what’s a couple of drinks shared among friends. It was Happy Hour and I enjoyed their company and the conversation. Little did I know Happy Hour would eventually turn into a nightmare.
Addiction starts out as a love affair. Those first moments as you are getting acquainted with one another, are euphoric. Filled with newness and even excitement. You can’t wait to see one another after work because you know how good your newfound companion makes you feel. There’s a sense of innocence and trust as the relationship begins but that will erode over time.
As the relationship progresses, you begin to discover things you didn’t know about one another. Like how your companion can change your thoughts and play with your emotions, creating extreme highs and bottomless lows. And eventually the lows begin to catch up with the highs and soon surpass them. And that’s when depression sets in and the newness and excitement are swallowed by the ever increasing dependence on your addition.
I can’t believe I am saying all this to you, especially because Mother’s Day is just around the corner and I don’t want to spoil that special day. But I feel in my heart I must get this out in the open. I’ve never spoken openly about my addiction but my sincerest hope is that you will understand and support me as I end my love affair and enter a new phase of my life—sobriety.
If there is something good to come of this confession, please look at this as my Mother’s Day gift to you. I want to be the loving and understanding son that you worked so hard to raise. I want us to have a new beginning that is built on a mutual respect and an openness we haven’t had before.
Know that I am in the process of getting the help that I need to understand and overcome my dependence. I am ashamed yet relieved that hope lies on the horizon. Thank you for your patience, your devotion, your love, and your belief in me. It has made all the difference in my life. Now I have the chance to restore that difference.
I remain sincerely yours this Mother’s Day…
I have been your son for 28 years. For the first time in my life, I am admitting that in the last 10, I haven’t always been present. Although I have been a part of your life, behind the smiles and the small talk, I’ve been dealing with a problem that is tearing me apart.At first, I thought I could handle it. Continue Reading
Mother’s Day approaches and I dread it! Don’t get me wrong,my mother is a good person… just a little overbearing. Actually,she’s “big time” overbearing. Continue Reading
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