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You have an Eating Disorder and then the holidays hit. OMG, that’s the worst. All that food, all that pressure to avoid this and don’t eat too much of that. And you wonder why you have anxiety issues.
You say to yourself, “Be Selective.” Selective! When all you can see is food staring at you from every corner of the room. And then you eye that 25 year-old executive assistance from your office with the perfect figure gnawing on a celery stick. And without hesitation you dive into the Swedish Meatballs and cast your eyes on that yummy looking Tiramisu. And that voice in your head says, “You’ll never look like that. Bon appetite.” And how about those cream cheese balls wrapped in bacon?
The holidays can be torture. Filled with lots of mental and emotional stress. And you decided to skip breakfast and lunch so you could enjoy the party. You talked to your therapist. You role-played with your best friend. You promised you’d take care of yourself. But you got too busy at work and with your life and now you find yourself at the party. And you assured yourself you’d bring a supportive friend, but you didn’t have time to ask. So you feel overwhelmed with guilt, regret, and conflict. You try your best to use your healthy voice, but somehow it’s disappeared in the din of celebration.
And so it goes. And recovery seems to be ever more distant. Ever more out of reach. But somewhere inside of you is that supportive voice. The one that listens to reason and realizes you can overcome this addiction to food. It’s the voice that encourages you to stay positive and balanced and connect with your higher power.
And suddenly you begin to focus on the celebration and the joy of the season, and get outside of yourself. You remember all the effort you have made in changing and overcoming past behaviors. You begin to feel a burst of self-confidence welling up inside of you and suddenly that positive voice says, “You can do this.”
And you know what?…you can.
There are 12 months, 365 days in a year, 11 official holidays, not to mention all those unofficial celebrations like office parties, birthday parties, anniversary parties, weddings and the list goes on and on…and I…have an eating disorder. I don’t want to become a recluse, but anyone with an eating disorder knows how hard it is to manage all the food you find on all the days and celebrations listed above. Frankly, it’s overwhelming. To think, I have almost a whole year before me.  ... Continue Reading
To be honest, I can’t remember too many of my St. Patrick’s Day celebrations. They were filled with numerous toasts and memories, and all were lost in the fog of alcohol.It’s too bad because it’s such a joyous time. Continue Reading
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