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My Christmas Wish

Twas’ two weeks before Christmas and all I could see,
Was rib roast, beef wellington, and chocolate brownie trees.
The fridge was stocked with goodies, hiding behind the door, 
The last thing I needed was temptation in store.

But Christmas was joyful and full of good cheer,
But all I was feeling was anxiety and fear.
Christmas cookies on the counter, cheesecake nearby, 
And honey-glazed ham and hot apple pie.

Dish upon dish and calories galore,
Please, oh please, tempt me no more.
Guilt consumes me, on every morsel I dwell,
When in my mind and my body I’m going through hell.
I so want to gorge myself on everything yummy,
But I know moments later I’ll empty my tummy.

You have no idea what it’s like to be bulimic,
To constantly worry this or that could be glycemic.
That food is your enemy and yet you can’t resist, 
How, oh how, can I go on like this?

On the outside I try to hide what’s going on within,
But day-by-day my body grows thin.
And friends ask me, “Is everything okay?”
I smile and laugh, that’s all I can say.

Come Christmas morning, gifts under the tree,
This is my ever-silent plea.
May I try to enjoy our Christmas meal,
And not let my dread, another moment steal.
May I look at my family with joy and delight,
As conversation and companionship, last into the night.

May this Christmas be different than Christmases past,
May the joy and laughter, forever last. 
And to all those who suffer inside, like me
For once and forever…may their spirits be free.

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