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Valentine’s, The Sweetest Day of the Year… Not

On this Valentine’s Day, I find myself in a love hate relationship.
Yes, the simple thing is to simply say goodbye and move on.
If only it were that simple.
You see, this is a long-term relationship.
One I’ve had for three years now…or is it five?
I’ve lost count.

The most frustrating thing, neither of us wants to call it quits.
We’ve become fond of each other, too fond.
And this overwhelming fondness always leads to disaster.
Honestly, on Valentine’s Day it’s a car crash.

This is so, so hard for me to say.
It’s embarrassing, frustrating, maddening, and quite frankly…lonely.
My love is food.
Not that that’s bad, until you admit you have an eating disorder.

There, I said it. I live with it. But I hate it.
I binge. I purge. I fight with it everyday.
Talk about an unhealthy relationship.
And on Valentine’s Day it is most intense.

I mean, love is in the air.
Not to mention, the overwhelming presence of
chocolate and every sinful dessert you can imagine.
If you contend with an eating disorder, you know how it feels.

Well I’m tired of feeling this way.
Tired of fighting with my conscience.
Dreading each day I come face-to-face
with the one thing I can’t face—food!

So, on this Valentine’s Day I send a personal message
to everyone that deals with an eating disorder.
To begin, I hold you all in my heart, as I’m sure
you hold me in yours.

I think we can all agree that we want to find
a healthy way to relate to food.
To know that food is not the enemy
but that we have to work on our relationship.

So, let the work begin.
And let us come together in
establishing a new beginning.
A new way to feel good about ourselves
and good about the food we choose to eat.
And, with that said,
I wish each and every one of you
a Happy Valentine’s Day.

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