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On this Valentine’s Day, I find myself in a love hate relationship. Yes, the simple thing is to simply say goodbye and move on. If only it were that simple. You see, this is a long-term relationship. One I’ve had for three years now…or is it five? I’ve lost count.
The most frustrating thing, neither of us wants to call it quits. We’ve become fond of each other, too fond. And this overwhelming fondness always leads to disaster. Honestly, on Valentine’s Day it’s a car crash.
This is so, so hard for me to say. It’s embarrassing, frustrating, maddening, and quite frankly…lonely. My love is food. Not that that’s bad, until you admit you have an eating disorder.
There, I said it. I live with it. But I hate it. I binge. I purge. I fight with it everyday. Talk about an unhealthy relationship. And on Valentine’s Day it is most intense.
I mean, love is in the air. Not to mention, the overwhelming presence of chocolate and every sinful dessert you can imagine. If you contend with an eating disorder, you know how it feels.
Well I’m tired of feeling this way. Tired of fighting with my conscience. Dreading each day I come face-to-face with the one thing I can’t face—food!
So, on this Valentine’s Day I send a personal message to everyone that deals with an eating disorder. To begin, I hold you all in my heart, as I’m sure you hold me in yours.
I think we can all agree that we want to find a healthy way to relate to food. To know that food is not the enemy but that we have to work on our relationship.
So, let the work begin. And let us come together in establishing a new beginning. A new way to feel good about ourselves and good about the food we choose to eat. And, with that said, I wish each and every one of you a Happy Valentine’s Day.
There are 12 months, 365 days in a year, 11 official holidays, not to mention all those unofficial celebrations like office parties, birthday parties, anniversary parties, weddings and the list goes on and on…and I…have an eating disorder. I don’t want to become a recluse, but anyone with an eating disorder knows how hard it is to manage all the food you find on all the days and celebrations listed above. Frankly, it’s overwhelming. To think, I have almost a whole year before me.  ... Continue Reading
To be honest, I can’t remember too many of my St. Patrick’s Day celebrations. They were filled with numerous toasts and memories, and all were lost in the fog of alcohol.It’s too bad because it’s such a joyous time. Continue Reading
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