I have been your son for 28 years. For the first time in my life, I am
admitting that in the last 10, I haven’t always been present.
Although I have been a part of your life, behind the smiles and the
small talk, I’ve been dealing with a problem that is tearing me apart.
At first, I thought I could handle it. I mean, what’s a couple of drinks
shared among friends. It was Happy Hour and I enjoyed their company
and the conversation. Little did I know Happy Hour would eventually
turn into a nightmare.
Addiction starts out as a love affair. Those first moments as you are
getting acquainted with one another, are euphoric. Filled with newness
and even excitement. You can’t wait to see one another after work
because you know how good your newfound companion makes you feel.
There’s a sense of innocence and trust as the relationship begins but
that will erode over time.
As the relationship progresses, you begin to discover things you didn’t
know about one another. Like how your companion can change your
thoughts and play with your emotions, creating extreme highs and
bottomless lows. And eventually the lows begin to catch up with the
highs and soon surpass them. And that’s when depression sets in
and the newness and excitement are swallowed by the ever increasing
dependence on your addition.
I can’t believe I am saying all this to you, especially because Mother’s Day
is just around the corner and I don’t want to spoil that special day.
But I feel in my heart I must get this out in the open. I’ve never spoken
openly about my addiction but my sincerest hope is that you will understand
and support me as I end my love affair and enter a new phase of my life—sobriety.
If there is something good to come of this confession, please look at this
as my Mother’s Day gift to you. I want to be the loving and understanding
son that you worked so hard to raise. I want us to have a new beginning
that is built on a mutual respect and an openness we haven’t had before.
Know that I am in the process of getting the help that I need to understand
and overcome my dependence. I am ashamed yet relieved that hope lies on
the horizon. Thank you for your patience, your devotion, your love, and
your belief in me. It has made all the difference in my life. Now I have the
chance to restore that difference.
I remain sincerely yours this Mother’s Day…