What's Control Got To Do With It- Step 3
I’ve heard many stories of people who struggle with addiction say that they feel “out of control” or that they want more control. I remember having both of those sentiments throughout my addictive process.
When I first heard the notion that people somehow give their lives over to God, I remember feeling frustrated and confused about how I would even begin this course of action. What did that even mean, anyway? Giving my life over to God looked like a cartoon word balloon over my head. I was disconnected from this idea. I never really thought about giving up control completely to someone and certainly not to a Being that I couldn’t see, touch, hear or feel. It didn’t seem real or even attainable.
As I continued to grapple with this concept, I realized something. I’VE NEVER REALLY HAD CONTROL. The unhealthy behaviors I was engaging in were an attempt to control the “messes” in my life, but they ended up making my life more chaotic. For all these years I had actually been giving the control over to my addiction! This completely changed my perspective on the quandary I was in and I was able to glean some insight. If I seek out God in the same way that I sought after my addiction, then maybe my life will be restored to some sense of control. I was willing to give it a chance. As I got into a deeper relationship with my higher power, I realized that turning my will and my life over to Him is not just a one time thing. It is a daily process, and at times, a moment by moment process. It is a choice I choose to make while I still have breath in my lungs. That choice is what gives me a sense of control in my life now.
The relationship with God or our higher power (as we understand Him) is similar to the recovery process. If, we, who have struggled with addiction turn our wills and our lives over to recovery and/or to our higher power each day, then we can overcome the loss of control we felt when our addiction began. The choice is ours.
“The only thing we can truly control in this life is the meaning we make.”
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives to the care of God as we understood Him.